Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Embracing the chaos, mostly because the calm was charging a cover fee

Doing nothing is so hard because you never know when you are done.

I am not always a smart-ass. Sometimes I'm asleep.

I have always been suspicious of Wendy's hamburgers because they are square; much unlike the round hamburgers one finds in nature.

Sometimes I get road rage walking behind people in the grocery store.

Cancel my subscription because I don’t need your issues.