Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

When I procrastinate, current me really expects a lot out of future me.

If my psychiatrist said "There's really nothing more I can do for you", that means I'm cured right?

Autocorrect can go straight to he'll.

They really need to stock ATMs better. I went to 4 of them today and they all said "insufficient funds."

We never really grow up. We only learn how to act in public.

Whoever determined a 1-inch candy bar should be called "fun sized" should really re-evaluate their standards for entertainment.