Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Anything is possible when you don't know what you’re talking about.

Waterboarding at Guantanamo Bay sounds really fun if you don't know what either of those two things are.

When a cashier told me, "Strip down, facing me." How was I supposed to know she meant my credit card?

I got a new compass, but I don't know how to use it. It didn't come with directions.

I lost the volume control knob on my antique radio. I keep checking the Lost and Found to see if anything turns up.

I bought a bottle of shampoo which promised to increase volume. I poured some in my ear and if anything, it did the opposite.