Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
A sprinter was shot with a starter's pistol yesterday. Police say it's race related.
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A police officer came up to me yesterday and said, "Where were you between four and six?" I said, "Kindergarten."
I tried being awesome today, but I was just so tired from being awesome yesterday.
I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus, a slice of lemon. And a shot of tequila.
Yesterday I tried to catch fog in a jar. I mist.
I saw a math teacher with a piece of graph paper yesterday. I think she was plotting something.
I wrote a review for a pair of underwear yesterday. It was brief.
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