Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Today I found out that spring rolls are not just for eating in spring.

I put my to-do list for today on the fridge, but nobody is doing it.

Good morning people of my country. Tell me, what are we offended by today?

My bank balance is a constant reminder that I'm safe from identity theft.

Starting a page called Older Fans, where I tell everyone what hurts today and what small task I was doing that caused the pain.

I tried being awesome today, but I was just so tired from being awesome yesterday.