Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I've heard that you can now print a gun with a 3D printer, but I am not really impressed. I've had a Canon printer for years.

If you hold the sole of your foot to your ear, you can hear the sound of your hip dislocating.

Remember -- it may be illegal to text and drive... but you can still lawfully handwrite someone a heartfelt letter at 50 km/h.

Did you hear about the auto body shop that just opened? It comes highly wreck-a-mended.

Piñatas are a great way to teach children that if you repeatedly beat something with a stick, eventually you'll get what you want.

Everything will kill you, so choose something fun.