Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Did you hear about the auto body shop that just opened? It comes highly wreck-a-mended.

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More silly statuses for social media you might enjoy

If a tree falls in the forest and nobody hears, my illegal logging business is a success.
It's September. Time to pick out a Halloween costume and start your Christmas shopping. Happy New Year, everybody.
Autocorrect can go straight to he'll.
Afraid of not getting what you ordered with online shopping? Try online dating!
When the new funeral parlor opened, the other undertakers faced stiff competition.
I was going to tell a joke about time travel but nobody laughed.
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