Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

All theses years I thought it was the dryer making my shirts not fit. Now I'm pretty sure it's the refrigerator.

The only thing I hate more than having a dirty house is cleaning.

I hate when homeless people shake their cup of coins at me. It's like yeah, I know you have more money than me — no need to rub it in.

People who say "I hate to bother you" need to learn to hate it a little bit more.

I haven't tried yoga, but I have tried bending over to pick up my keys. So I am pretty sure I hate yoga.

My New Years resolution this year was to lose 10 pounds. I am happy with my progress. Only 12 more pounds to go!