Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I ran out of toilet paper, so I started using the newspaper. The Times are rough.

Today I bought a toilet brush. Long story short, I'm going back to paper.

I ate my exam papers...which means pretty soon I'll pass the test.

Remember, if you can't say something nice, make it funny.

My goal in life is to have a Wikipedia page written about me. Maybe just a newspaper article. Ok, I'd accept a journal entry.

Remember when we thought it would be fun to grow up and have jobs?