Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Some people think I am going crazy. The joke is on them. I went there years ago, fell in love with the place and decided to stay.

I don't need a hairstylist. My pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.

Always remember to the change the oil in your time machine once every 6 months or 3,000 years.

It's September. Time to pick out a Halloween costume and start your Christmas shopping. Happy New Year, everybody.

It only takes one person to ruin it for everyone... Be that person.

Marry someone who can cook. Love fades, hunger doesn't.