Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I got a new pen that can write under water. It can write other words too.

Listen... "8 glasses a day" is a just scare tactic used by Big Water to keep us all dependent.

Hippos can run faster than humans on land, and swim faster in water. This means the bicycle is your only chance at beating a hippo in a triathlon.

Highlighter pens are the future. Mark my words.

My body just asked for water and I gave it a mini donut because nobody tells me what to do.

A local theater put together an act about jokes, it was a play on words.