Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I've heard that you can now print a gun with a 3D printer, but I am not really impressed. I've had a Canon printer for years.

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

If you hold the sole of your foot to your ear, you can hear the sound of your hip dislocating.

Remember -- it may be illegal to text and drive... but you can still lawfully handwrite someone a heartfelt letter at 50 km/h.

Did you hear about the auto body shop that just opened? It comes highly wreck-a-mended.

The movie Soylent Green was released in 1973 and was set in the year 2020. Now: Enter the Impossible Whopper... Hmmm