Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I tried to catch some fog but I mist.

I love going outdoors. It is much safer than going out windows.

I wonder how many animals we tried to ride before we discovered horses we cool with it.

Remember -- it may be illegal to text and drive... but you can still lawfully handwrite someone a heartfelt letter at 50 km/h.

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

My friend composes ditties about sewing machines. She's a singer songwriter