Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
If it wasn’t for Venetian blinds, it would be curtains for all of us.
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I haven't slept for three days, because that would be too long.
I choked on a carrot this afternoon and all I could think was "I bet a cupcake wouldn't have done this to me."
If da Vinci were alive today, the "Mona Lisa" would have been called "IMG-20121020-00463.jpg"
Being married is solving problems together. Problems I wouldn't have if I was single.
I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.
Two guys walked into a bar. You would have thought the second one would have ducked.
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