Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I told my suitcase we're not going on vacation this year. Now I'm dealing with emotional baggage.

Some people think I am going crazy. The joke is on them. I went there years ago, fell in love with the place and decided to stay.

I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won't stop sending me vacation ads.

For years there's been talk about getting rid of the US penny and they finally did it! Some people are just afraid of change.

I need a six month vacation, twice a year.

The inventor of throat lozenges has died. There will be no coffin at his funeral.