Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I once stayed up all night trying to figure out where the sun went... then it dawned on me.

I went to get acupuncture the other day, and when I got home my voodoo doll was dead.

The chicken went to the gym to work on his pecks.

I caught my wife cheating last night. Last time I play cards with her.

Some people think I am going crazy. The joke is on them. I went there years ago, fell in love with the place and decided to stay.

If we're not supposed to eat at night, then why is there a light in the fridge?