Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Always remember to the change the oil in your time machine once every 6 months or 3,000 years.

Never confuse education with intelligence, you can have a PhD and still be an idiot.

Starting a page called Older Fans, where I tell everyone what hurts today and what small task I was doing that caused the pain.

Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is you are stupid and make bad decisions.

It's September. Time to pick out a Halloween costume and start your Christmas shopping. Happy New Year, everybody.

I don't know the secret to happiness, but I tell you what, I have never been sad at a Mexican restaurant.