Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

North America...where your credit score says you can't afford to pay a $700 mortgage so you pay $1200 rent

I don't need a therapist. I just need a friend to be silly with.

My brain says "go to the gym," but my bed says "stay right here."

A recent announcement says half of all vehicles will be electric in ten years. My questions is "Which half? Front or Back?"

Confucius says: He who sleeps like a baby does not have one.

A fact of life: After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says W T F.