Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
My brain: Go to sleep. Also my brain: Remember that thing from 8 years ago? Let's think about it for 3 hours.
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Remember, if you can't say something nice, make it funny.
Brain: I can see you’re trying to sleep. Can I offer a selection of your worst memories?
I'm old enough to remember when apparently the worst thing life could hand you was lemons.
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.
I don't have a bad memory. I just remember things differently than they happened.
Used to sleep in one position for hours. Now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.
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