Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
Brain: I can see you’re trying to sleep. Can I offer a selection of your worst memories?
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My brain: Go to sleep. Also my brain: Remember that thing from 8 years ago? Let's think about it for 3 hours.
My friend was trying to convince me that yoga is a sport. I think that's a stretch.
Just saw a cop pull over a U-Haul truck. I think he is trying to bust a move.
Great news for insomniacs now that Halloween is over. Only 5 more sleeps till Christmas
I found out my neighbor breeds deer for racing. He's always trying to make a quick buck.
I am not always a smart-ass. Sometimes I'm asleep.
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