Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Midwives help people out.

Remember -- it may be illegal to text and drive... but you can still lawfully handwrite someone a heartfelt letter at 50 km/h.

Sometimes I get road rage walking behind people in the grocery store.

I recently took a pole. 99% of people were annoyed when their tents fell down.

1988: Don't get into a car with a stranger
2002: Don't meet people on the Internet
2018: Uber

People say "I hate to bother you." Maybe they should learn how to hate it a little bit more.