Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I got the words 'Jacuzzi' and 'Yakuza' mixed up. Now I am in hot water with the Japanese mafia.

Listen... "8 glasses a day" is a just scare tactic used by Big Water to keep us all dependent.

Hippos can run faster than humans on land, and swim faster in water. This means the bicycle is your only chance at beating a hippo in a triathlon.

My body just asked for water and I gave it a mini donut because nobody tells me what to do.

According to chemistry alcohol is a solution.

Learn from Pandora's mistake—think outside the box.