Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
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Life is like a movie so make sure you pick up good songs for the soundtrack.
Fart when people hug you. It makes them feel strong.
"I ran a half marathon" sounds so much better than "I quit halfway through a marathon."
Running is the best way to remind yourself how much you love sitting.
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
I finally realized I'm a morning person. I love mornings. 11 a.m. is my favorite.
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