Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I hate when homeless people shake their cup of coins at me. It's like yeah, I know you have more money than me — no need to rub it in.

I wonder where superman changes now that there are no more phone booths

The only thing I hate more than having a dirty house is cleaning.

I really want to work so hard. But being lazy is much more fun.

You know you're broke when your bank flags deposits as suspicious activity.

People who say "I hate to bother you" need to learn to hate it a little bit more.