Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I hate when homeless people shake their cup of coins at me. It's like yeah, I know you have more money than me — no need to rub it in.

Did you know that there are more airplanes underwater than submarines in the sky?

Doing nothing is so hard because you never know when you are done.

Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

Great news for insomniacs now that Halloween is over. Only 5 more sleeps till Christmas

King Arthur's lesser known but saucy knight, Sir Acha