Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

For years there's been talk about getting rid of the US penny and they finally did it! Some people are just afraid of change.

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

All theses years I thought it was the dryer making my shirts not fit. Now I'm pretty sure it's the refrigerator.

You are the result of 5 billion years of successful evolution. Now act like it.

Algebra must have been easy for the Romans. X was always 10.

I could have been a monk, but I missed my chants.