Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I always second guess myself at a checkout line when the cashier asks "did you find everything?". Why are you hiding stuff?

I don't always tolerate stupid people. But when I do, I'm probably at work.

I don't always post on Facebook, but when I do, it's probably a picture of food.

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

Best friends don't let you do stupid things...alone.

You're so vain. You probably think this post is about you.