Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I found out my neighbor breeds deer for racing. He's always trying to make a quick buck.

I am not always a smart-ass. Sometimes I'm asleep.

I have always been suspicious of Wendy's hamburgers because they are square; much unlike the round hamburgers one finds in nature.

I missed my appointment with the chiropractor about a week back.

They say you are what you eat. In what did I eat anxiety and back problems?

I am not always punny and sarcastic. I do sleep sometimes.