Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Silence is golden, but duct tape is silver.

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More silly statuses for social media you might enjoy

Saw a werewolf at the bus stop this morning, or possibly just a very hairy guy. Either way, the silver bullets worked.
I can’t find my mouse pointer. Mind you, I've only conducted a cursory search.
Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking outside of the box.
Being abducted by aliens might be the vacation I need at this point.
Me: I need to be productive.
My computer: Time for a software update!
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