Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
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My wife told me to choose between her and my cigar collection. I'm really going to miss her.
When a cashier told me, "Strip down, facing me." How was I supposed to know she meant my credit card?
My doctor told me Iām going deaf. The news was hard for me to hear...
Think about it - every single corpse on Mt. Everest was once a highly motivated person. Stay lazy my friends.
My wife thinks I have a hard time verbalizing my emotions. Can't say I'm surprised.
A delivery driver asked me what time it was. I told him, "sometime between 8:00am and 5:30pm."
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