Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
My wife told me to choose between her and my cigar collection. I'm really going to miss her.
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A delivery driver asked me what time it was. I told him, "sometime between 8:00am and 5:30pm."
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
A police officer came up to me yesterday and said, "Where were you between four and six?" I said, "Kindergarten."
My doctor told me Iām going deaf. The news was hard for me to hear...
The difference between a biography and an autobiography is self-explanatory.
My wife thinks I have a hard time verbalizing my emotions. Can't say I'm surprised.
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