Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I think I'm approaching my
"best if used by" date

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I miss the good old days when I used to think T-mobile was a rapper.
Best before dates are just spoiler alerts.
If you can't stop thinking about someone's update, that's called 'status cling.'
It's shocking how much unhappiness is caused by the pressure to be happy.
Democracy is being allowed to vote for the candidate you dislike least
Running is the best way to remind yourself how much you love sitting.
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