Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.

When they call my name at the doctor’s office, I like to run through the waiting room like I got called on The Price is Right.

Everyone has the right to be dumb. Some people abuse that privilege.

My neighbour is complaining about his chickens arguing. It's not the noise that bothers him... it's the fowl language.

If something's not going right, try left.

That awkward moment when a Zombie is looking for brains and it walks right past you...