Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Best friends don't let you do stupid things...alone.

Everything always ends well. If not – it's probably not the end.

Saying 'let me check my schedule' when you know full well you have nothing going on.

I lost the volume control knob on my antique radio. I keep checking the Lost and Found to see if anything turns up.

I bought a bottle of shampoo which promised to increase volume. I poured some in my ear and if anything, it did the opposite.

Tripped over nothing...again. Nailed it