Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
Having a weird dad builds character. At least that's what I tell my kids.
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Doctor: "I'd like to talk to you about your weight." Me: "Well, it was 25 minutes, but at least the chairs were comfortable."
A clean house is a sign of a wasted life. At least, that's what I tell myself.
I am going to need some of you to get weirder. I can't keep pulling all the weight.
I am not weird. I am just a limited-edition model.
The only thing I hate more than having a dirty house is cleaning.
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