Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

If silly putty would have applied itself, it could have been serious putty.

This meeting could have been a nap.

I have always been suspicious of Wendy's hamburgers because they are square; much unlike the round hamburgers one finds in nature.

I missed my appointment with the chiropractor about a week back.

Yesterday I spotted an albino Dalmatian. It was the least I could have done for him.

Apparently I've been doing this "coffee" thing wrong. It wakes you up way faster if you accidentally knock it over into your lap.