Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
Just burned 2,000 calories. That's the last time I'll forget the brownies in the oven.
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More silly statuses for social media you might enjoy
I caught my wife cheating last night. Last time I play cards with her.
My friend's Bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.
If stress burned calories, I'd be a supermodel by now.
It is almost time to switch from your regular anxiety
to your fancy Christmas anxiety.
Last night I went to a comedy and philosophy convention. I laughed more than I thought.
The last thing I want to do is insult you. But it IS on the list.
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