Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Life is short. Buy the shoes. Eat the cake. Take the trip.

Life is too short to remove a USB drive safely.

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.

I'm like an avocado: I'm only pleasant for a short period of time, and it's up to you to figure out when that is.

Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

In my life I've cut down 173 trees. I know because each time I keep a log.