Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
I bought a bottle of shampoo which promised to increase volume. I poured some in my ear and if anything, it did the opposite.
My friend escaped jail by wrapping his face with a whole roll of paper towels. Now there's a Bounty on his head.
He who laughs last... didn't get it.
I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.
Dove chocolates taste way better than their soap.
Me: I finally got 8 hours of sleep.
Neck: Yeah, but you did it wrong.
Tripped over nothing...again. Nailed it
Wi-Fi went down for five minutes, so I had to talk to my family. They seem nice.
Life's too short to be vanilla