Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
Saying 'let me check my schedule' when you know full well you have nothing going on.
I don't need Google. My wife knows everything.
My bed and I have a special relationship. But my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.
I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
My relationship with Monday is strictly non-consensual.
Every Monday I enter the office like a hostage returning to captivity.
I told my suitcase we're not going on vacation this year. Now I'm dealing with emotional baggage.
Monday is basically the loading screen for the rest of the week.
If Monday were a spice, it would be flour.
If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, why did it fall off?