Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Between the coffee and the cocaine, it looks like the mission of Colombia is to wake up the world.

In a world full of bagels, you're a doughnut.

Apparently I've been doing this "coffee" thing wrong. It wakes you up way faster if you accidentally knock it over into your lap.

Hippos can run faster than humans on land, and swim faster in water. This means the bicycle is your only chance at beating a hippo in a triathlon.

God created the world. Everything else is made in China.

If the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off of it!