Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

I have always been suspicious of Wendy's hamburgers because they are square; much unlike the round hamburgers one finds in nature.

I don't always go the extra mile, but when I do, it's because I've missed my exit.

Just because you are offended, does not mean you are right.

I don't know how the law of averages works, but you'd think after 20yrs of marriage I'd be right at least once.

Bees hum because they don't remember the lyrics.

I haven't slept for three days, because that would be too long.