Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Whatever you're doing, always give 100%. Unless you're donating blood.

I don't always tolerate stupid people. But when I do, I'm probably at work.

I know I don't have to be sarcastic, but the world has given me so much material to work with. I would hate to be wasteful.

Whatever you do always give 100%. Unless you are donating blood.

A fact of life: After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says W T F.

Someone has been stealing the wheels of police cars. Police are working tirelessly to catch them.