Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Think about it - every single corpse on Mt. Everest was once a highly motivated person. Stay lazy my friends.

My friend asked me to help him round up his 37 sheep. I said '40.'

That one friend who says 'we should hang out more' but never initiates plans.

My friend said his favorite Star Wars quote was, "Aargh Luke, ye scurvy dog, I be yer father." I think he got a pirated copy

After a short conversation, someone asked me if I was a nerd.
I said I preferred the term "smarter than you".

I am writing a book about all the things I should be doing in my life. It's an oughtobiography.