Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Starting a page called Older Fans, where I tell everyone what hurts today and what small task I was doing that caused the pain.

It only takes one person to ruin it for everyone... Be that person.

I will be thoroughly disappointed if the first human born on Mars isn't named Marvin.

I wonder if Harvard is angry it doesn't have a comma named after it?

I was going to tell a joke about time travel but nobody laughed.

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.