Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

My boss hates it when I shorten his name to Dick. Especially because his name is Steve.

The only thing I hate more than having a dirty house is cleaning.

Running is the best way to remind yourself how much you love sitting.

I hate when homeless people shake their cup of coins at me. It's like yeah, I know you have more money than me — no need to rub it in.

People who say "I hate to bother you" need to learn to hate it a little bit more.

I finally realized I'm a morning person. I love mornings. 11 a.m. is my favorite.