Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
I'm at the age where happy hour is my nap time.
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It's September. Time to pick out a Halloween costume and start your Christmas shopping. Happy New Year, everybody.
Sometimes I go hours without drinking coffee. It's called sleeping.
I am not always a smart-ass. Sometimes I'm asleep.
Sometimes I get road rage walking behind people in the grocery store.
I was going to tell a joke about time travel but nobody laughed.
Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
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