Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

Everyone I know is a 'snack getting stuck in a vending machine' away from total collapse.

Anything is possible when you don't know what you’re talking about.

You never know what you have. Until you clean your room.

I'm old enough to know better, but silly enough to still think I can do it anyway.

I'm not immature I just know how to have fun more than you do.

I hate when homeless people shake their cup of coins at me. It's like yeah, I know you have more money than me — no need to rub it in.