Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
My IQ test results came back, and they were negative.
Common sense is like deodorant; the people who need it most never use it.
I changed my bathroom's name to "The Jim" so I can tell everyone I go to the gym every morning.
I get kids confused when I say I am older than the Internet.
To err is human. To arr is pirate.
I can always tell if someone is lying just by looking at them. I can also tell if they are standing.
I just read a list titled "100 Things to Do Before You Die." I'm pretty surprised "yell for help" wasn't one of them.
If a fence joins the union and strikes... is that picketing?
People who say the glass is half full or half empty really don't get it. The glass is refillable.