Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners

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What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, it just waved.
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I have all my ducks in a row. They're just dead ducks.
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Monday is proof that the universe has a sick sense of humor.
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My superpower is making things awkward without even trying.
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I'm not sure what my spirit animal is but I'm confident it has anxiety.
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Monday morning coffee is just survival juice.
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Nothing travels faster than light, except bad news in a group chat.
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Nobody talks about how brave you have to be to eat at a new restaurant without checking reviews first.
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Adults are just kids who owe money.
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Every USB plug requires exactly three attempts to insert. It's a universal law.
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