Funny Statuses, Quotes & One-Liners
I heard the best way to release emotion is to write letters to the people and burn them. What do I do with the letters?
When I was little I went to a child psychologist. That kid did nothing for me.
Does anyone want to buy a broken barometer? No pressure...
A space heater seems like the perfect housewarming gift.
I once entered a weather pun competition. I beat the raining champion.
I wish Noah had swatted those two mosquitoes.
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.
Going to a music lovers meeting but can't remember if it's on... Penny Lane, Electric Avenue or down on Main Street.
Why did the jalapeño put on a tiny jacket? It was a little chili.
I always second guess myself at a checkout line when the cashier asks "did you find everything?". Why are you hiding stuff?